Parents

1. Preparation: get clued up!

• Knowledge is power. If you know all there is to know about drugs, we salute you! However, for the uninitiated, drugsand.me is a great place to start; we also recommend DrugScience. The more you know about drugs, the more you can communicate with your child in a meaningful way. Use your child's interests to engage your child in a discussion rater than just repeating what you know or have found online (eg. Policy, science, recreation, addiction etc). Drug information changes all the time, so it's important to stay up to date.

2. Setting: relaxed and casual

• Initially bringing up the topic may be rather tricky. Make it as relaxed and as casual as possible. Choosing the right time and environment is key. Good examples are in the car, at the dinner table or on a walk. On the way to an exam is not what we have in mind...
• In the same vein, choosing the right moment is just as important as the environment. Make sure that there isn't a big load on your child's mind, nor yours. Reaching out to them at the optimal moment. can make all the difference. A relaxing Sunday afternoon perhaps.
• To keep it casual, don't bomb in with a statement like "Let's talk about drugs!". Use one of our conversation starters below to subtly bring in the topic.

3. Style: non-confrontational and objective

• Avoid accusatory questions such as "Are you taking drugs?" These invariably trigger a defensive response and can burn bridges.
• Try to avoid personal pronouns such as "you" and replace them with phrases such as "they" or "someone" or "I heard that this person did..." This style ensures that you're simply presenting information to your child which they can pick into without feeling personally interrogated. - Keep it objective by presenting facts neutrally; try not to taint them with your vision and if possible try and tease your emotions apart from the facts!

4. Maintain that safe conversational space

• A safe conversational space is one where your child feels comfortable in expressing themselves and can talk freely without fear of judgement or reprisal. Show kindness. A kind mentality is the ultimate creator of safe spaces and you'll get the most out of your conversations this way.
• To maintain the space, it is essential you engage in the conversation when you are calm and do not have external pressures yourself. It is important to hold back your judgements and praise moments where your child opens up and maybe even shows some vulnerability. Be a sponge, absorb what they have to say.
• The idea of your child taking drugs may trigger a knee-jerk emotional response. It's important not to go on the offensive as this will only make your child retract.

5. "The safest way to take drugs... is not to take them."

• Make it clear to your child that the safest way to take drugs is to not take them at all. However, children will be exposed to them at some point, so it is essential they feel prepared when confronted with them.
• Think carefully about the narrative you adopt with your child. Disparity between scaretactics and reality tends to decrease credibility. If a young person's initial experimentation proves to be much more innocuous than they were led to believe, they may continue to experiment further and more recklessly without appreciating the risks.
• But remember that sometimes you need to sit down and have a serious conversation, especially in the event of a serious incident. Drugs can be harmful, and it is important to not approach the subject with too much levity.

6. Learn together

• A lovely way to approach the whole conversation is to engineer it so you can learn about drugs together instead of lecturing your child. They will pay more attention if the dynamic is one in which you are both learning rather than you telling them how it is.
• Sometimes your child will let on that they know more about the subject than you do. Take this is as a positive sign; the more knowledgeable your child is, the safer they are. If this is the case, allow the roles to switch and let them take the stage to inform you about what they know.

7. Patience and perseverance

• Regardless of how hard you have tried to be non-confrontational, sometimes the conversation just does not pan out the way you expected. In which case, retreat, leave some space and try again at a later date, maintaining all the principles mentioned thus far.
• Always remain calm and say things that are gentle and non-reactive. A list of phrases of supportive things to say when things get tricky can be found below, however, like most things, it is often not what is said that is effective, but how it is said.